In the waiting...
Updated: Oct 28, 2021
Would you agree that the hardest part is the waiting? Waiting in line at the grocery store, waiting in traffic, or waiting for medical test results can be stressful. It's a part of life. As kids, waiting for the next birthday, a driver's license, or high school graduation can feel like an eternity. As we age, the "weight" of waiting increases as we await lending approval on a first car or a first home. We wait for the results of a pregnancy test that has the power to forever change our life. Waiting is often paired with anxiety as we check the mail box every day for a college acceptance letter, as we wait to hear the words "yes" after rendering a marriage proposal, as we wait to board a roller coaster designed to simultaneously thrill and terrify us.
"Life is a journey, not the destination," Ralph Waldo Emerson reminds us, a journey that can take us toward heartache or joy.
For three years I have walked the long journey of writing a book. Two years into the process, the manuscript was complete, but it took a third year of editing to get to print production. And now I find myself waiting - waiting to see the book in print, to hold it in my hands, to agonize over the inevitable typos I'm sure I'll find. In the waiting I also find myself worrying about how the book will be received. Will there be criticism or compassion, cruel remarks or camaraderie with my readers?
Writing a book is a promise I made first to God and then to myself. It has been a long season of waiting, filled with frustration, fatigue, insecurity, delays, and many tears.
As I await the publication of my first memoir, I find myself also waiting for exploratory cancer surgery. Waiting for all the steps in the process - doctor's visits, imaging reports, lab tests, second opinions, and pathology results requires patience, faith, and a positive attitude. This is how I await the arrival of my first printed book copies - patiently preparing for a book launch, trusting God that He will bless my obedience, and hopeful that the book may bring healing to many post-abortive women and their families.
I leave you with a powerful and moving song by Hillsong Worship called "New Wine. Words and Music by Brooke Ligertwood © 2017 Hillsong Music Publishing CCLI: 7102397
"In the crushing, in the pressing, You are making new wine." Based on scripture from Matthew 9:14-16.